What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.
went to halloween store to pick up Ouija board
grab the board proceed to the check-out
cute girl behind the counter
my palms starts to sweat and I get nervous
cute girl tells me it's 30.00
I reach into my pocket for my meney
spahgetti falls out
everyone stares as there is spaghetti all over the floor
I try to clean it with my jacket but it doesn't work
I run out of store
無限のエッセイ(ビジュアルノベルゲーム「fate/stay night」の詠唱の改変ネタ。)
4chanのアニメ板住人「マイク」が試験で提出したという論文。
I am the bone of my essay.
体は小論で出来ている。
Procrastination is my body, and caffeine is my blood.
血潮は引き伸ばしで 心はカフェイン
I have ignored over a thousand deadlines.
幾たびの締め切りを越えて未提出
Unknown to MLA format, nor known to passing grades
ただひとつも書式に従わず、ただの一度の合格もない
Have withstood responsibility to fail many classes
彼の者は常に独り 学校の授業で落第する
Yet those classe will never teach anything
故にその授業に意味はなく
So as I hand in
その体は、
UNLIMITED ESSAY WORKS
無限の小論で出来ていた。
God damn you, /b/. I fucking hate you. I've been noticing how you've been fucking with my head, making me see memes everywhere, and now it cost me my job.
I used to work at a pizza joint called Papa Gino's, which is a chain here in New England. Today, two guys came in, and they were very obviously a couple. Never in my life have I seen people this blatantly gay. Now, I'll be the first to admit that I'm a bleeding heart liberal hippie treehugger commie bastard, and I'm even bisexual myself, but DAMN these two were gay. Everything was going fine, right up until I served them their food. Instead of the usual "enjoy your meal" bit that I usually say, /b/ seized control of my brain.
"There you are, guys. Enjoy your AIDS." As soon as that A passed my lips, alarm bells went nuts in my head. But it was too late. I didn't realize what I had just done until I had finished speaking. The two guys just stared at me in shock for a momment, and I went pale. I knew that my days of free pizza and all the Mountain Dew I could drink were over in that one instant.
The two dudes go DIPSHIT. My manager comes over, and there's screaming about hate crimes, bigotry, lawsuits, and one of them even stood up and threatened to beat the shit out of me. We got into a fight, and my manager got scared, and said youre moving with your aunte and uncle in bel-air.
I whistled for a cab, and when it came near, the license plate said "fresh" and there were dice in the mirror. If anything I could say that this cab was rare, but I thought "naw forget it, yo home to bel-air!"
I pulled up to the house about seven or eight and I yelled to the cabbie "yo homes smell ya later!" Looked at my kingdom, I was finally there. To settle my throne as the prince of bel-air.
ANONYMOUS DOES NOT FUCKING RAID. WHEN YOU LEAVE /b/ YOU ARE NO LONGER ANONYMOUS.
ALL that raiding does is establish a link with the disgusting identity-saturated world that exists outside of 4chan.
A person doing, referencing, or talking about things that belong inside /b/ while outside is just an idiot. We are all fucking idiots here, but because we are ALL anonymous and ALL acting randomly we create something WONDERFUL, something that is not just a bunch of random crap but EVERYTHING, and because we have no identity here each and every one of us owns the ENTIRE sum of our efforts.
What you people are doing is NOT anonymous, you are no longer anonymous, you are "anonymous from /b/" you get an identity, you may call yourselves anon BUT YOU ARE NOT ANONYMOUS!
YOU DO NOT TAKE /b/ WITH YOU! The environment which transforms random acts into enlightenment is NOT THERE, you do nothing but make yourselves look stupid and POTENTIALLY THREATEN OUR FUTURE.
Many of you do not even understand what /b/ is. You have come here too late and where absorbed into this newbie raiding culture. At first it started small, but then my mom got scared. She sent me to live with my auntie and uncle in bel-air. I whistled for a cab and when it came near, its license plate said fresh and it had a dice in the mirror. That is more or less harmless. BUT YOU IDIOTS ARE RUINING IT. We should not have started, WE DID NOT KNOW IT WOULD HAVE TO KEEP GETTING BIGGER AND BIGGER.
ALREADY THE NEGATIVE EFFECTS ARE BEING FELT! Look around you; it's now around seven or eight and we've dispatched the cabbie; finally, we have a chance to sit on our thrones as princes of bel-air. mock-fighting is now turning into real hostilities.
/b/ IS NOT AN INTERNET POWER, we are a STATE OF MIND. There is no /b/ army, there is no /b/-'anything', there is only /b/ and anonymous.