|The story below is originally published on Mainichi Daily News by Mainichi Shinbun (http://mdn.mainichi.jp).|
|They admitted inventing its kinky features, or rather deliberately mistranslating them from the original gossip magazine.|
|In fact, this is far from the general Japanese' behavior or sense of worth.|
Hard up, guys? Hey, you can always hawk your fork
Don Don 2/4 by Cheryl Chow
Hey guys, going through hard times? You've been laid off? Well, why don't you use your hard-on and get laid instead? If you're a strapping young man and cash-strapped, Don Don advises trying out your hand --- or other appendages or orifices --- in the sex industry catering to either women or gay men.
And by the way, you needn't worry that you're doing something illegal, as the Japanese law banning prostitution targets women only.
Just one instance of how women get screwed.
The magazine suggests that women may be more difficult to please, so you might knock on one of the many gay bars in Shinjuku 2-chome.
Going rates are about 20,000 yen a day and room, though no board.
At a bar often frequented by entertainers, customers can either choose a two-hour or an overnight "date" course.
The charge is 12,000 yen for two hours, 20,000 yen overnight.
The urisen --- that's what men who prostitute themselves in bars are called --- gets to pocket half.
But if sucking up to your own gender doesn't sound appealing, you can register at "reverse erogenous massage clinics."
There are only two or three in the city.
You can, however, register at one fairly easily as long as you have some concept of what hygiene is.
As the name suggests, the traditional roles are reversed, with women as customers and men the "masseuse."
What's expected is exactly what women in the pink trade do, namely, stimulate customers' erogenous zones.
At one shop, customers pay 20,000 yen for two hours, and 10,000 yen for each additional hour, with the sex provider getting half.
Veterans at the trade can make 60,000 to 70,000 yen a day.
Contrary to expectations, customers who frequent what might be called the "blue zone" are not generally old or unattractive.
In fact, according to Don Don, women with zero sex appeal are too ashamed to expose themselves. (The same could be said of men.)
And there's even been an increase in the number of customers in their 20s in the last five to six years, even if they happen to have lovers.
Why? Because they're too embarrassed to ask their boyfriends to satisfy them sexually.
Still, you'd prefer getting it on with women who have knock-dead figures? Try starring in adult videos then.
Says a veteran porno star, "There's nothing difficult about this job. All you have to do is to have an erection and ejaculate."
Which may be easier said than done, since you have to perform at the drop of the pants, in front of the entire crew and under bright lights.
If you're good, you can expect 60,000 to 70,000 yen per day.
If you're none too popular, though, your take is a mere 10,000 yen.
At least you get to come.
And if you're what's called a shiru --- juice --- actor, that may be all you get to do.
You'll be just one of many who's job is to squirt semen all over the female star.
Not your glass of juice? Then there's always the option of selling your body --- literally.
While trafficking in human organs is illegal in Japan, the Philippines has no such regulations.
A kidney can be sold for 300,000 yen through a broker.
If all this sounds too disheartening, you can make a monthly income of 300,000 yen to 400,000 yen with room and board included.
How? By jumping on a tuna boat for a long, slow journey. Like an entire year.